Addicted to Perfect: A Journey Out of the Grips of Adderall

Perfection is the thief of joy. It’s a lie that keeps us in a stranglehold of chaos, people-pleasing, and addiction. Perfection says we are never good enough. It holds us back from being our truest, most authentic selves.

Author Vitale Buford spent nearly three decades of her life in the web of perfection. She was praised for being an “easy child,” “pretty,” and “self-motivated,” so that’s what she tried to be. Her need for perfection and outside success was coupled with her body image obsession. It was also a distraction from the pain of abandonment and loneliness she experienced in her childhood. When she tied her self-worth to her external success and her appearance, her addiction to perfection was born.

In her junior year of college, Vitale was introduced to Adderall as a “study drug.” She used it for a few months—and ended up losing twenty pounds; she also got her best grades ever with her most rigorous course load. She was sure she had discovered the “perfect drug.” When she was able to obtain her own prescription the following year, it hooked her immediately. She was addicted not only to Adderall but also to the perfection, the weight loss, and her newfound ability to accomplish projects and tasks with ease. This was the beginning of a ten-year love affair with Adderall.

In Addicted to Perfect, Vitale shares the highs and lows of having been a slave to Adderall, the destructive relationships that ensued, and the way that she finally broke free. She details the many twists and turns involved in the years leading up to her getting sober and the eating disorder that followed her into sobriety. Perfectionism is no longer something that enslaves her, and Vitale’s story is one of hope that no matter where you are in your life, you can release yourself from the grip of perfection.